The Library Card

Today was my last day of school, and my first day of summer vacation. 

In typical fashion I hit the door running, arms wide to embrace my temporary freedom. Eagerly anticipating a summer filled with adventure, camping, pools, lakes, and books, lots and lots of books. 

I always have great expectations for my summers with my children ( the ones I birthed, not the ones I adopt from August through May). And being an idealist and perfectionist, it's never surprising that my ideal falls a bit short of reality. 

But today, ideal became reality. 

Maddox begged to go to the library, get his very own library card, and check out his first books of the summer. We sat on the patio of the library in the cool Palisade breeze, me finishing the final chapters of a beautiful novel, And The Mountsins Echoed, and Maddox exploring the books of the library. He was specifically interested in the Star Wars books. Then he stumbled upon his first graphic novel - The Monster On The Hill. 

He asked to go to the park, and once there he suggested we take a blanket under the tree to keep reading our books. 

It was bliss, relaxing under the rustling leaves of the cottonwoods, reading side by side with the sweetest boy.

As we packed up to go get his sister, Maddox  commented on how much he had enjoyed our morning, and began making plans for us to do it again next week- and each week for the rest of the summer.

If today is any indicator for what lies ahead this summer, I am ready to throw myself in, headlong with wreckless abandon! 

When I gave up Face Book for Lent....

...nothing Earth shattering and revolutionary occurred but I gained some significant perspective. 

First I realizeed how much of my life fb consumed.

Second I realized that my first choice was fb; it was difficult to retrain my brain and fingers to not select that button on the phone... I eventually deleted the app. And retrained myself to select my bible app and see what God was speaking to me instead. (I allowed myself Pinterest and Instagram, and I think there was significant influx of pins on my board...) 

Third I realized how much people rely on fb to communicate and connect. I missed the invite to my college roomies shower(thankfully she texted me later), and so many friends had big things happening that I would have only found out on fb. When I got together with friends they would continue conversations from fb, and I was at a loss.

Finally I had so many things happening that I wanted to share with my friends- Maddox started tackle football, Madison made varsity soccer- just to name a two. 

My intent in participating in lent this year was to grow closer to God, and create a habit where I chose His word first to speak into my life. I can happily say I've grown in this through Lent. 

However, quite unexpectedly I learned the value of social media. I had become resentful of this new(ish) way we connect. It lacked the personal touch, the closeness, and depth I crave in relationships. But being with out it for 40 days, I had never felt so disconnected from my friends- even my closest ones. I realize now how comforting it is to click one button and be able to check in on the lives of my friends. 

Since I've been back, I've been looking in on each of them more, but posting about my happenings is lacking. Maybe I'll post more, maybe I'll just like and comment, but I certainly have a greater appreciation for the role fb plays in friendship. 

What fruit am I bearing?

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22

It was this verse that shook me a few months ago, I realized I was exhibiting none of these. So where was my life rooted? What story was I living out? How could I claim to be a daughter of God, yet not resemble Him? If I wasn't bearing these fruits, then what was I filled with- it wasn't the Holy Spirit. 

I needed to get into Gods word-NOW! I felt overwhelmed, I didn't know where to start; the Bible is huge!  So I began a plan from my YouVersion app, then another! And currently find myself studying about and participating in this season of Lent. 

Since then I have seen myself begin to embody more of these fruits, and it feels good to have confirmation that God has refilled my heart. 

Breakfast Acorn Squash- Pinterest Success

B took several days off during our spring break to knock out some lingering remodel and repair projects- so I turned to Pinterest to come up with some hearty breakfasts and scrumptious dinners.  This morning we started with a paleo recipe for a stuffed acorn squash from http://paleomg.com/5-ingredient-breakfast-stuffed-acorn-squash/

I've never cooked with- nor eaten- acorn squash, so I had no idea of the flavor that it would produce. I was delightfully surprised by its mild sweet and buttery flavor.  The sausage onions and garlic were a great savory flavor with the squash. For the last few minutes of the baking time I turned the oven to broil so the egg wouldn't be slimy on top.  B's egg turned out almost perfect with a nice silky egg yolk, mine ended up overdone for my taste, but the entire meal tasted great together so the overdone egg didn't ruin it.  

The whole process wat a bit time consuming for a breakfast, but I would definitely make this on another weekend or special occasion, 

I think if my kids hadn't seem me preparing the squash I could have slipped them this breakfast and they wouldn't have turned their noses up at it, in fact I think they would have actually liked it. 

New Year's Offering

Back in August, when we started school, I felt that God have given me a word to begin th new school year. 

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV)

This word has been scrawled across my lesson plans, helping me maintain a focus of why I teach, and my purpose in teaching.  

As I welcome in the new year, and begin considering the direction of life and making adjustments.  It can be overwhelming, especially when confronted with past failed resolutions.  My resolutions have oscillated between simple "to do" items on a check list - set up recycling -, to huge character changes - be more positive. The problem with these is that while I'm drowning trying to stay positive in the midst of a messy life, the "to do" items never get checked off.  

Resolutions, for me (and most people I know) are short lived.  The change I want to see in my life is change that is hard, and if I force it and work hard for it, in the end I'll likely end up discouraged and defeated. 

Instead, this year I am choosing a New Years offering, offering each of my days to God, focusing my life on His love,  His glory, His power. Seeking ways to reflect that and give it to those around me.  I believe that with this as my focus, God will be create change in me that I struggle to do alone. 

My verses:

Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. 

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. (Psalms 51:17 NLT)

Just as 1 Cor. 10:31 gave me perspective in teaching - what ever I do (teach) do it to bring glory to God- helped me get my focus beyond mandates, evaluation procedures, and curriculum issues- offering my life will change my focus from ovwewhelming character flaws and impossibly long

"to do" lists and lo living a life that brings glory to God.  

December 31st

Bringing in the new year seems to breathe new life into the world.  The calendar turns a blank white page of opportunity ready to have life and purpose scrawled upon it. A chance to begin again, a chance to redirect, an opportunity to focus.  New Year = New Life. 

That is what January 1st is. 

So what is December 31? A closing? An ending? A time to reflect? A time to say good bye?

  

I had never considered December 31st as a closing or an ending, but always a day of anticipating new beginnings. That is until this year . . . 

B's grandmother passed away early in the evening, December 31.  Her death was not expected, though also not a surprise, as her health had been robbed by dementia and has been deteriating over the past few years. 

Death is never an easy topic, loss and grief are uncomfortable. Standing at the periphery of the grief, my heart hurts most for those left behind. For my father in law who has lost both parents, for my husband who has lost a pillar of his childhood memories, for my children who feel the sadness of a relationship that never had the chance to fully form - I grieve. 

I also ponder the inevitable force of change which defines life, defines its moments.... I consider death and rebirth, the driving force behind New Years resolutions. A resolve to change, a resolve to put something to rest, a resolve to begin something new. Death and loss force perspective upon you. Force me to consider what resolutions I will make? What will I put to rest this year, what new birth will I experience?  

 

December 31st, the closing of a year, a day to say good bye, a day to reflect, a day to refine, a day that marks an end.

I find something beautiful about Janiece's story ending on December 31st. 

The Pain In My Hip Is Ruining My Life

Late September, maybe early October, I experienced a slight spill down a steep hill.  The pain was instant and debilitating but short lived therefor, I believed the issue had been resolved. 

On my next long run, in preparation for the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in Denver, my hip flexor began to yell at me. . . It has been yelling ever since. For almost SIX weeks I have been on the injured reserve, nursing this nagging hip.  Around the clock anti-inflammatory, low load-baring stretches, and of course no running.

I tried my best to NOT run, but at two weeks out I thought maybe, just maybe, I could go low and slow... nope. It was still yelling.  An additional 4 weeks later with a few attempts at running and my hip was no better.

So I've gone 6 weeks with out a real run under my belt, I missed the Half Marathon, and I feel like my girth is ballooning.  Typically I would find some other way to exercise, but what can you do that doesn't involve your hip flexor?? 

Running for me is partially for the exercise and physical health benefits.   Mostly I run because it keeps me sane; when I run, I can better deal with the daily stresses. When I run, I get my much needed social time with my friend Anne. 

I've been with out the benefits of running for too long and it is taking its toll, not just on me but on my friendships, my family, and my work.  I finally made an appointment to get adjusted by my chiropractor.  I like this option as a first resort as it is non-surgical.

It turns out that little spill down the hill tweaked my hip in its socket.  It turns out that pain in my foot that I've been ignoring since summer was an out of place bone in my arch.  My chiropractor got it all back in line and I immediately felt improved, not restored, but improved

Maybe, just maybe, I'll be hitting the road regularly again soon.  Then, maybe this emotional storm I seem to be in the midst of will calm as well.