December 31st

Bringing in the new year seems to breathe new life into the world.  The calendar turns a blank white page of opportunity ready to have life and purpose scrawled upon it. A chance to begin again, a chance to redirect, an opportunity to focus.  New Year = New Life. 

That is what January 1st is. 

So what is December 31? A closing? An ending? A time to reflect? A time to say good bye?

  

I had never considered December 31st as a closing or an ending, but always a day of anticipating new beginnings. That is until this year . . . 

B's grandmother passed away early in the evening, December 31.  Her death was not expected, though also not a surprise, as her health had been robbed by dementia and has been deteriating over the past few years. 

Death is never an easy topic, loss and grief are uncomfortable. Standing at the periphery of the grief, my heart hurts most for those left behind. For my father in law who has lost both parents, for my husband who has lost a pillar of his childhood memories, for my children who feel the sadness of a relationship that never had the chance to fully form - I grieve. 

I also ponder the inevitable force of change which defines life, defines its moments.... I consider death and rebirth, the driving force behind New Years resolutions. A resolve to change, a resolve to put something to rest, a resolve to begin something new. Death and loss force perspective upon you. Force me to consider what resolutions I will make? What will I put to rest this year, what new birth will I experience?  

 

December 31st, the closing of a year, a day to say good bye, a day to reflect, a day to refine, a day that marks an end.

I find something beautiful about Janiece's story ending on December 31st.