The Day that Began and Ended at Safeway: With a Disaster in the Between

Friday morning, March 8, 2013, started as a typical teacher work day, I let myself sleep until I awoke on my own, then headed to Safeway to grab some fixins for our staff pot-luck luncheon- and of course treat myself to a Starbucks.

There was no urgency in my commute to work this morning as I had - miraculously- finished all grading (over 100 tests with multiple concepts to score) AND entered and submitted the 3rd quarter grades all before I left school for the day on Thursday.

While busying myself with house keeping tasks in my classroom my phone rang.  Seeing it was my little brother Nik, whose wife is expecting a baby girl in a few short weeks, I answered the phone in an excited auntie voice- expecting the baby call.

Confusion set in... why was his voice so shaky and sad.... this didn't match my expectations... as the words he spoke settled into comprehension, my heart stopped... my dad had been in an accident, he had a broken neck, and was currently in the ER. ....No, not the happy baby phone call I had been prepared for.

The drive from Palisade to St. Mary's has never seemed so long, I don't think there has been a time where so many thoughts passed through my head in such a short amount of time. Was he paralyzed, was he critical, was he stable, would he walk again, would he work again, would he be in a wheel chair, would he live to see tomorrow, how did it happen...  Nor do I think there has been a time when my emotions changed so abruptly and dramatically - one minute sobbing cries to God, then the next calm explanations to my husband, only to return to sobs and pleas to be strong when I arrived at the hospital.

Walking the sterile halls of the hospital to Trauma room 2, I straightened and braced my shoulders to receive what ever was waiting for me on the other side of the curtain.  My first glimpse... his feet moving and wiggling - this sight alone gave my heart hope and strength to see the rest for I KNEW he would walk again.  The sight was not pretty, but I can't say it was worse than I had expected.  He had a neck collar on and was covered in blood that came from multiple facial lacerations.  The worst that I could see was one on his cheek to almost his ear, it went clear through to his mouth. 

Trauma T.V. shows, such as Grey's Anatomy and ER, have done a significant disservice to the reality of ER room activity.  There was nothing that was urgent, or rushed about my dad's ER stay.  I expected the Dr.s to be making fast decisions in an effort to immediately improve my fathers sate of being.  Instead the process of x-rays, doctor evaluations, administration of pain meds and, ordering MRI consumed several hours, through all of which he received no pain meds.  Maybe the lack of hustle and bustle was a good sign, he was stable, and they were able to make smart, informed decisions on the best course of action. 

The initial diagnoses were in, my dad had sustained injuries that included a fractured C-2, compressed C-3, Teardrop fracture of C-7, small fractures in lower vertebrae, broken rib on left side, fractured orbital bone and blown pupil on right side, broken rib on left side, multiple facial lacerations, a cut on his calf, and NO SPINAL DAMAGE!!!!

Hours after arriving in the ER they took him for an MRI then up to surgery to repair the lacerations on his face.  Finally, about 4:00 he was taken to a room in the ICU.  The Dr. updated us on all the lacerations he had to repair, which were more numerous that he had first thought.  He was unsure of the severity of scaring, and nerve damage - only time would tell.

There is a strange time vortex that occurs in the hospital, it's as if time simultaneously speeds up and slows down; a day turns into the longest day of your life and in that same day hours have slipped past unnoticed. I found my self leaving ICU late Friday night suspended in this vortex, the outside world was still moving forward, a whole day had past where it seemed everyone went about as usual, I was stepping back into reality with the same trepidation as stepping onto a high speed moving walk way for the first time, not sure if I would maintain balance.

Situations like this tinge the world a different color, people look different as if a transparent material separates my reality from theirs.  I observed this strange sensation as I stopped at the grocery store on the way home - miraculously I remembered we needed milk.  I couldn't help but look at the people around me and wonder at how normal they looked- did I look normal too or did I have the look of someone who has been through hell and has yet to return? 

It dawned on me in that moment, how my day had truly come full circle- no not full circle that would imply that things ended exactly how they began and that is not the case.  Maybe my day came full spiral, beginning in one location of one reality and ending in the same location in an alternate reality.  I'm not sure how long I stood staring at the milk options with an almost comatose gaze upon my face, maybe only a second, maybe longer, but am stunned with how dramatically your life can change in less than 12 hours.

I do have hope and peace in the knowledge that all that has changed in the course of one day, 12 extremely long - yet slipped away hours - my dad was alive this morning, and he is alive now, and he will live tomorrow and the next tomorrow. 

Hitch, Take Two

About 3 years ago I had my own episode of the movie Hitch, but we never figured out what had caused that reaction. Last night I experienced the sequel... but I can pinpoint the culprit this time...

Over the past few years peaches have gradually started causing me problems, but none have been severe enough to make me give up my favorite fruit. It started with mild itching in my hands and forearms when I would peel them, I just attributed this to the fuzz. Later this progressed to itchy lips and throat when I would eat them, but I could sap the peach in the microwave for a few seconds and it took care of it.

Then last Thursday, I got some peaches out of the freezer to make cobbler, after pealing and slicing them I got a pretty set of hives on my hands, but didn't really think much of it. After we pulled the cobbler out of the oven I snitched a few bites, but didn't eat much since it was pretty late. About an hour later while laying in bed reading I was feeling super itchy, and noticed that I was breaking out in hives and a flush rash up my neck, into my scalp, and all the pits - knee, elbow, arm... pretty much any warm place. So I jumped in the shower, took some Benadryl, and a few puffs of my inhaler and made myself lay in bed and be calm.

Well, because I love peaches so much, and am completely sutbborn, I refused to believe that it was the peaches that caused this reaction, so yesterday I pulled the cobbler out of the fridge and had a pretty good slice. With in 20 minutes I was having horrible stomach and intestinal pain. But I busied myself with some weed pulling and yard clean up. As I was doing these chores I was getting really hot, and itchy, but again in denial, assumed it was just the heat and weeds. A bit later Brian got home from work and commented on how red I was, and when I took off my sunglasses he immediately told me to get in the shower and take Benadryl. That's when everything went completely crazy and my tongue felt tingly and swollen and my lungs started closing.

So off to the ER we went... the whole way there I was still battling nausea, and as soon as I walked in the door I emptied the contents of my stomach... I guess that's a key to getting treatment in the ER more quickly- that and being the color of a stop sign- because they immediately took me back and got me hooked up to all the gadgets (pulse was racing at 127, and my blood pressure was really low) and an IV started with a drug cocktail of more Benadryl, Pepcid (also has a histamine blocker), and a steroid, and gave me a breathing treatment to open my lungs.

Once things seemed under control, and I awoke from the drug induced sleep, the Dr. discussed with me that I should probably avoid peaches (duh), and said that systemic allergic reactions like this just compound, meaning the next one might be worse, so he gave me an Epipen which I have to carry with me from now on. He also said that it is likely that my body will have another flare up in the next few days until the peaches are completely out of my system, so until then I have to take an oral steroid to help keep that from happening.

The worst part of all of this is not that I have to carry the stupid Epipen, or even that I can't ever eat peaches again(no more peach poppy seed cake from Slice of Life), but that our goal and dream of owning a peach orchard some day can't possibly happen. I guess it will have to be hops (which the nurse said would be a much worse allergy to have than peaches.)

So my plan now is to fast from fruits for at least a week, contact an allergist to see what other foods are in the peach family and possibly have more allergy tests. But I am seriously freaking out about eating anything right now...

Learned: Trust your body the first time.. .being stubborn and choosing denial really isn't a good plan.

Dear Forces of Nature:

I am writing to tell you that you can stop with the lessons.

I already knew that metal is a conductor, that if you put it somewhere cold...it gets cold, and when you put is somewhere hot it gets hot. And if you touch it while it is in, or just recently removed, from either of these locations it will immediately conduct that same temperature to you. I did not need the reminder last night when I accidentally forgot that the pan in my right hand had just been pulled out of the oven (using an oven mitt) and transferred it to my left hand (with out an oven mitt). These are really nice blisters on my hand.

I also already knew that glass is an insulator, and that when it is placed near a window in the winter it will get cold but not necessarily feel cold. I also already knew that heat energy will transfer from my stove top through a tea kettle and make the water inside boil. I also already knew that if you pour hot liquid into glass that is cold the class will shatter. I did not need a shattered single serving french coffee press, and counter top, cupboards, drawers, floor, and my self covered with hot coffee and wet coffee grounds to be reminded of this.

Thank you for listening,
Brooke

Learned; My husband saw me cleaning up the mess through my tears, and offered to help. I just told him "all I wanted was my coffee!" He came back from the store with a Starbucks for me. All that to tell you that I learned My husband really loves me, he can see through my girlie irrational emotions and find a way to make my heart happy again. I love him!

My Current Addictions

I haven't been able to run since Moab, I went once last week and immediately had knee pain. I knew I loved to run but now that I can't I long for it even more. Every sunny afternoon, every runner I pass in my car, every time I hear a song that I love to run to, or doing laundry and folding my running clothes, I realize that I am in withdrawal. So to fill the void I have a few new addictions to confess: addictions...

First I am loving Weeds a Showtime series about a suburban mom/widow, who also deals pot... I am finding it completely hilarious and captivating though it can be raunchy and ridiculous.

While waiting for the next instalment of Weeds you can find me curled up with my second addiction.... I finally found another book that I could get into and love. I am currently reading The Time Travelers Wife. I wanted to read this when I saw the movie was coming out, but never got around to it.

I am hoping that by the time I have exhausted Weeds and my book I will be able to run again.

Learned: My acupuncturist said that there is happiness outside of running, though I am finding enjoyment from my current time fillers, I still long to run.

Wanna Know What I'm Good At?

(Warning, this is a pity party in disguise...)

I am good at running 4 miles a day and showing no progress towards loosing my last 5 pounds.

I am good at eating any sweet that is in close proximity to me -- my house, school, even the convenience store on the way to work.

I am good a collecting laundry in multiple places and multiple stages. There are always 2 baskets full in the room, two clean loads on the couch waiting to be folded, at least one load folded and waiting to be put away, and another two in the washer an dyer.

I am good at maintaining a messy house. My specialties are collecting dog hair in carpet, dirt on the hard wood floor, dishes in the sink and in the dishwasher.

I am good a prolonging trips to the grocery store. A real expert of eating anything for dinner, including cereal, just to keep the trips to a minimum.

I am great at putting my kids off after work when they want to play, I just turn the TV on to give me time to veg.

I am good at teaching kids lessons that they forget, even after having 1 and 3/4 years of the subject.

I am good at keeping all friendships distant, I fill my time with other meaningless stuff besides growing relationships.

What do I do best?

I am REALLY GREAT at pissing my husband off!!!

Learned? I am good at a lot of things... but all of the things are not so good!

Terrible Horrible No Good Verry Bad Day

It all started at 7:15 this morning in the midst of a white out in Palisade. I had just left my dad's from dropping Maddox off, the roads are slick and snow packed. There is a long steep hill with a stop sign at the bottom where it meets another cross street, I am sure you can guess what happens next. Yep, though I am going very slow, I begin to slide, I can't stop. I end up sliding the passenger side of the truck against a large pile of boulders and a telephone pole. I get out check the damage, and to my surprise there is only a scuff on the rear fender which I think will buff out, and amazingly no dent. So I continue to school, dreading the fact that I need to call and tell Brian about the incident, all too well knowing what his reaction will be.

I make the call, no surprises on how he reacts...

Later I discover that I did not bring lunch! ARGH! So I head to the local pizza shop to get a slice. Once I order I realize that my wallet is missing. The one that has my ID and credit card, and this shop doesn't take checks! Great, now I got a wrecked truck, a mad husband, an empty stomach, and an irrational grouch approaching if I don't get food in me soon. (Thankfully the owner said he would take my check, even though there were multiple sights saying "NO CHECKS ACCEPTED" in angry bold black caps.)

Just then some dude walks and informs me that I have a flat tire! Can you believe it -- a flat tire on top of the rest of it! Thankfully I am right next to a gas station that provides free air. ( I hate that other stations charge for air, I mean it is air COME ON!) So I begin filling the tire up hopeful that I have solved a problem, when I hear loud hissing coming from the other side of the tire and notice that it is no longer inflating.

Yeah, I have a popped tire, though I can't see it on the other side, so I hurry and drive back to school so that I am not late to teach my Algebra class. On the way I realize I have to make yet another bad news call to Brian to inform him of the further damage I have inflicted upon his truck. Again no surprise by his reaction.


My brother Alix shows up towards the end of school with a huge smile and changes my tire for me, he is almost finished and Brian pulls into the parking lot, I hurriedly escape to the safety of my classroom (though there is only minutes left before the bell, I am just not ready to face his wrath.)

Eventually I have to bite the bullet and go outside, and of course Brian and Alix are still there. Brian seems to have calmed down and doesn't even yell at me, instead he gives me a hug and says he is not mad, just wonders why it always happens to his stuff...

Then he shows me the tire and wheel. The tire is absolutely fine however, the wheel is bent on both the outside and the inside so the seal was broken and no air would stay in.

This means we need to buy a new wheel. This means that we won't be taking the truck to Moab for our weekend get away which means no hiking, we can't take my car off the paved road. This also means there may not even be a weekend get away.

When I finally get home, Brian takes the wheel to get a new one, and I go running. While on the run Brian hunts me down and shows me the quote for a new, basic, steel, nothing fancy wheel...$380.00 - American?!

He lets me stew and get knots in my stomach for the rest of my run. When I get home I feel the tingling that precedes tears building behind my eyes, and then he informs me that they found a used one for $100.00, ordered it and it will be here in 7 days.

It was a terrible horrible no good very bad day!

Learned? Like Alexander in this book, I can look back and see that while I was in the midst of it and it seemed as if it couldn't, or wouldn't, get any better it was not the MOST terrible horrible no good very bad day, and I had survived, and maybe I won't move to Australia.