Thursday, June 13, 2013

Oh God, Chisel Me!

Maddox and I are so very much alike, in fact I've learned so much about what I need by being his mother. On more than one occasion I have seen him exhibit a behavior or reaction and I'm like "that's exactly how I feel! Now what does he need, food? Rest? Physical activity? " Thus determining my own need based on my mothering instincts for him.

Unfortunately we also share this tendency to come unglued, this overwhelming rush of emotions that inhibit all rational thought, and our brains spin out. I despise this part of me and I am wracked with guilt seeing it surface in my child.

I was given a book, UNGLUED by Lysa Terkeurst, that delves into the very heart of this and through some comedic relief and Gods word guides towards "making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions". To be completely honest this book was difficult and overwhelming- and oh so good- on one hand I wanted to devour the words from cover to cover, on the other I wanted to meditate, chew on, and practice. I ended up setting it aside for a few months, unfinished. Just this week it made its way to the surface of my reading pile, just when I was ready and in need of it again.

After skimming the first 40 pages and my personal reflections scrawled across the margins, I began to meditate on the section "Unfinished Sculptures"and how what she shares here speaks to my heart, and would also speak to Maddox's. The teacher in me began to find a way to share this with my son in a way that would engage him.

Thank God for Google! I had images of the statue of David, blocks of marble, and the Unfinished sculptures that are at the heart of this lesson. (Ideally I would have a block of foam for him to create a sculpture with at the end...)

We started with The David, discussing this masterpiece, said to be sculpture perfection, we talked about how long it took Michelangelo, and that for the duration he never left the sculptures side.

Then I showed him the blocks of marble similar to the piece that The David had emerged from. We discussed how and what tools Michelangelo would have used.

 Then, the key point: it is said that when asked how he created this perfection, Michelangelo replied that he just chiseled away the parts that didn't look like David.

This is what God is doing with us, chiseling away the pieces that don't look like us. I asked Maddox if we were the finished perfection like The David, and he said "No, Gods still chiseling." (Love this boy) then I showed him the Unfinished Sculptures, this is where we are, still being molded and chiseled into what and who God wants us to be. When we come into difficult or trying situations, God is using them to chisel away the parts of stone that don't look like us. When we feel ourselves becoming UNGLUED, God is showing us an area that needs chiseled.

Then I asked how long he thought it would take for us to become sculpture perfection like The David, two years of constant attention? Less? More? He pondered for a moment and when he spoke, his response showed great wisdom, "I don't think we will ever be perfect, mom. I think that there will probably always be something that needs to be chiseled." WOW!!! I am still, even after writing this, in awe and wonder at the perspective of his words.

He didn't stop there, he went on to tell me how this reminded him of what his grandma told him, that he is God designed, purpose intended, significant, lavishly loved, prince, son of the King of the universe.

He had lots of questions, I suppose they are the same questions we all have: What is he designing me to do? What purpose has he intended for me? How will I know?

In the end we agreed that we would trust what God says about us, choose to walk in love, and continue to pray "Oh God, chisel me!"

Saturday, June 8, 2013

A Box of Darkness

I'm left with this one thought: How well do we truly know anyone, how deeply and honestly do we allow others to know us?

On the surface this memoir is a story of one marriage, one husband, one wife, one secret. What lingers in me at its conclusion... this is the story of many relationships, and the multitude of secrets we all keep in an effort to conform, to portray the ideal, to keep hidden our perceived flaws.

Engaging piece of nonfiction that read effortlessly through difficult and heartbreaking revelations.