"Quit wiping buggers on the wall!"
"He's mad at me because I won't fight him!"
"Just sit here and watch TV, so I can have a moment (very brief) of semi silence."
"Thank you for bringing me a worm home from school, though he looks a little crusty!"
"Is there anything you don't throw?"
"No, under 'there'(speaking of his manhood area) is not old, will always have wrinkles there. It's just the way God made you."
"What do you mean it was an accident?"
"I pray for the woman you will marry... that she will be good enough for you and able to win me over."
Learned: There is a WHOLE lot that I never thought I would experience but am so thankful that having him brought these experiences to me.