Monday, February 2, 2009

Shack Pondering 2: Pain

"When all you see is your pain, perhaps then you loose sight of me." God speaking to Mack.

This statement reminds me of the footprints poem that has always seemed way too religious to me.

When I read this it made a lot more sense, and applied to a much larger issue I am having in my life. When life sucks (and lately it seems to suck more than usual) I need to adjust my focus. When I am in the midst of life sucking, I feel like it is a downward spiral, a vortex, or black hole, sucking me further and further. It seems easier to just give up and let it consume me. I feel alone, I feel abandoned by everyone, even myself -- if that is possible. At this point, I have lost sight of God. I have let my focus turn to my own troubles (and the troubles of those I care about). And yes, all I see is how dark and terrible life seems to be.

It is as if this tiny pebble is blocking my view of the rest of the world; though it is so close that I don't see it as a tiny pebble, but a huge mountain. It has caused me to loose sight of God.

The problem is I am in a state of mind right now that I can rationalize and understand all of this, but when that pebble becomes the mountain in my line of sight, none of it makes sense anymore.

Learned? More accurately "Working On:" Remembering that God is still there in the midst of life sucking, and that I can and will escape the black hole, spinning vortex.

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